Every time I think of the black market, I actually imagine a market, with little stalls selling illegal things like nuclear weapons and organs.
WAIT THAT’S NOT WHAT THE BLACK MARKET IS!?
23 May '13
26356
23 May '13
58519
(I’m running errands for my pregnant wife. While walking to a nearby store, I see two teenagers harassing a child that is only four or five years old. I shoo them away from the boy, and he introduces himself.)
Me: “So, where’s your mom at?”
Boy: “She’s in the store. Do you have kids?”
Me: “Not yet. We’re expecting a baby girl soon, though.”
Boy: “Well, she’s going to turn out nice, like you! So, I’m going to marry her someday!”
(I laugh, and play along while I bring him to the service desk, and wait until his mom picks him up. Six years later, my daughter comes home from school and introduces us to a friend that defended her against a bully on the playground. I didn’t recognize him, but he certainly knew who I was!)
Me: “So, where’s your mom at?”
Boy: “She’s in the store. Do you have kids?”
Me: “Not yet. We’re expecting a baby girl soon, though.”
Boy: “Well, she’s going to turn out nice, like you! So, I’m going to marry her someday!”
(I laugh, and play along while I bring him to the service desk, and wait until his mom picks him up. Six years later, my daughter comes home from school and introduces us to a friend that defended her against a bully on the playground. I didn’t recognize him, but he certainly knew who I was!)
23 May '13
53689
wibbly-wobbly-timey-wimey-tardis:
Sherlock is inspired.
SHERLOCK NO
NO THAT’S BAD
SHERLOCK THAT ISN’T HOW YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO TELL JOHN YOU LIKE HIM
SHERLOCK NO
SHERLOCK. STOP. NO. BAD SHERLOCK.
DONT BE GETTING ANY IDEAS NOW MR. HOLMES
“Please Sherlock…don’t be dead. Would you do that, just for me? Just…stop it. Stop this.” John whispered to the gravestone, trying his best not to break down sobbing. How could he have lost his best friend in the whole world. And not only his best friend, but a man he admired and care for…
A man that he loved.
John never got to tell him that, never got to admit his feelings for Sherlock. Not that he thought the man would reciprocate, of course. But it would have been nice to-
No, he need to stop thinking about this right now. It wasn’t possible. He was gone, and John was never going to see him again.
Spinning away from the gravestone, John made his way through the graveyard slowly, feeling his heart break with every step. It felt so wrong to be leaving his friend here, in this cold, unfriendly place. Sherlock should still be at Baker Street, not laying in a graveyard.
And here he was, walking away from the remains of the greatest man John ever knew. It was enough to drive him mad. It might be driving him mad, for he felt that he could see Sherlock everywhere. In the trees, near the road, on one knee in front of him…
With a loud grunt, John ran into the supposed phantom, landing heavily on the ground. He rolled over quickly, looking in shock at the man in front of him. It was Sherlock…
“John, I love you. Will you do me the honour of becoming my husband?” Sherlock asked, showing him a shiny gold band nestled in a black box. John gaped at him, his eyes darting between the ring and Sherlock.
“But you were dead…” He managed to croak out. Sherlock gave John a small smile before speaking.
“I wanted to show you how meaningless life would be without me.” He said blandly. “I care about you so much, and I-“
Sherlock was promptly silenced by one of John’s fists colliding with his face.
“You’re a bloody prat, you know that?!” John growled, looking down at Sherlock in anger. “I thought you were dead!”
“Yes, John. That was rather the point.” Sherlock began, stopping short when John leveled him with another glare.
“Don’t Sherlock….not right now.” John said, turning on his heel and walking away.
“But, John!” Sherlock called. “You didn’t answer my proposal!”
~*~*~*~*~
One year later, in a small chapel in London, the world’s only Consulting Detective and a certain ex-army doctor say “I do.”
((Oops…I fic’d it.))
23 May '13
182316
A Mom went to have dinner with her son who lives with his roommate.
During the course of the meal, his mother couldn’t help but notice how handsome his roommate was. She had been suspicious about her sons sexuality but being a good mother she felt that he would let her know if and when the time was right but seeing the two together just made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the interaction between the two she wondered even more if there was more here than meets the eye. Her son, sensing his mothers watchfully eye volunteered, “really Mom, I can tell what you’re thinking and you can just get it out of your mind, we are just roommates and nothing more”.
About a week later the roommate remarked, “ever since your mother was here the silver serving platter has been missing, do you think she took it?”
He responded, “Well I’m sure she didn’t but I will email her and ask just to be sure” he sat down and wrote:
Hey Mom
I’m not saying you did take the silver platter from the house and I am not saying you didn’t take it but the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Love,
Your Son.
A couple days later he got a response from his mother:
Dear Son,
I am not saying that you do sleep with your roommate and I am not saying that you don’t sleep with him and you know I love you and could care less either way but the fact remains that if he was sleeping in his own bed he would have found the platter under his pillow.
When are the two of you coming for dinner?
Love,
Mom
BEST MOM
I’m crYING
23 May '13
9290
lets make a test
who is easier to summon
1. Pizza?
2. Yahoo Staff?
3. Vegans?
4. Satan?
lets wait and see the result
ha ha ha i win
